Hourglass

Columnist Joe Guilbeau discusses family values

Don’t discuss politics with your in-laws unless they’re Republicans. In that case, come to Congress!

– The perfect husband is the one who allows his mother-in-law to use his credit cards.

– Decide among yourselves who will mow the lawn and be confident when she does.

– Many women are back seat drivers. But what about the men trying to cook the evening meal from the living room sofa?

– One of the brightest moments in life: when your wife meets her ex-boyfriend and he’s completely bald.

– Footballers make good husbands. They are used to being coached on the sidelines.

– Many women who thought they were playing their cards well ended up with a Joker.

– There are only two kinds of people who know all the answers: wives and sports journalists.

– Love makes the world go round – and it keeps it broken too!

– No matter how busy people are, they are never too busy to stop and tell you how busy they are.

– Self-control: Having the same ailments as the other person describes and not mentioning it.

– Have you noticed that only poor parents spend the night?

– A man is middle aged when he starts to appear around the middle.

– It is good to have an hourglass figure, provided that the sands of time have not moved too much.

– A Cajun uses a “garden hose” to water his lawn.

– Definition of a babysitter: A teenager who comes in to act like an adult, while adults come out to act like teenagers.

– If you exercise, you will add five years to your life, but you spend those five years exercising.

– A honeymoon is the period between “Yes” and “You better.” “

– What makes a good hot dog? A big dash of mustard.

– In recent news it was reported that UFOs were invading Navy ships (UFO is an official designation of the US Air Force). UFOs have never been spotted over Louisiana. I think the Cajuns ate them all!

– Autumn: A second spring when all the leaves turn into flowers.


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